Doughnut
by Hamtaro23
Summary: Never stand between an alchemist and his doughnut or suffer the consequences. RR!


Doughnut

Random inspiration, hyperactivity after too many hours of watching anime. Enjoy. XD

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Last doughnut in the box, the last glazed doughnut, the last sugary treat sitting lopsided in the open cardboard box, waiting, waiting for him the great eater of doughnuts to consume. Oh, how brilliant it shines in the morning light. Oh, how reminiscent it's round shape is of her bosom, stretching taut her uniform, tugging at the buttons of her shirt. Oh, how ecstatic the mere notion of consuming the worshipped piece of fried dough made him. His gloved hand reached out slowly, he was almost drooling.

"Morning colonel," Havoc strode into the room, "Oh, the last doughnut. Don't mind if I do." Before the colonel could react, Havoc plucked the sacred doughnut from its cardboard altar and plopped it into his mouth. He ate the doughnut with great relish. Taking most care to, however unintentionally, make the most awful noises of satisfaction when he was done. As he licked the sugar from his fingertips, he added, "That was good, shame that was the last one."

The colonel, sitting with his hand outstretched in utter agony watching his subordinate sink his teeth into the soft flesh of the prized doughnut, could do nothing but quiver in his seat. The trembles emanating from the colonel's body were so great that his cup of coffee, the one he was going to drink with his doughnut, was shaking too in its cup. This desperation, this utter devastation dealt in a single blow was a call for war. Fist clenched and raised, head bowed in anger, almost tearing, he made a vow to avenge his morning breakfast.

Havoc hung up his jacket, not noticing a thing. He walked over to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup of black coffee, he added, absentmindedly, two sugars too many. He stirred slowly with the little red plastic coffee stirs all offices were equip with. Tossing the thing away afterwards, he turned slightly and was about to walk to his table when he saw the colonel.

"Are you okay, colonel?" He asked, blinking several times, noticing finally the strange behavior of his commander, "You're looking a bit red."

How oblivious he was, how oblivious Havoc to his blasphemous act! This atrocity will not go unpunished. The loss of his doughnut will not be unheard. The more he thought of her round bosom ravaged by the hands of another man, the more he thought of how unfair, how unjust the world was, the more Colonel Roy Mustang wanted to leap from his desk.

"Vengeance shall be mine!" With these words Mustang knocked back his chair with a thunderous bang, propped himself up with both hands onto and over his table, stepping on pieces of paper, knocking over his coffee and launched himself at the utterly confused Havoc.

Havoc had no idea what was going on. Before he could even yell out, forget retaliating, his own coffee sent flying, his former commander and best friend, now turned bitter enemy over a doughnut tackled him.

"Hey," the colonel had him on the floor and by the collar shaking his furiously. The only thing Havoc could was wail, "What did I do? What did I do!?"

"The doughnut! Don't act dumb! You know what you did! You know what you did!" Mustang's grip tightened, with each shake banging Havoc's head against the wood panel floor, almost choking him,

"No," Havoc managed, "I don't," another hard smack against the wall, he swore his head was breaking, "I don't know."

"Lies!" the Colonel yelled, "All lies!" By now he was sitting on Havoc, legs straddling the blond man's body, perspiring, soaking his uniform and dampening his hair, a most distorted, enraged, almost lunatic expression across his face.

Havoc, loosing more brain cells by the second, was bordering asphyxiation. "I swear," He croaked, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"My doughnut! The doughnut!" The Colonel pulled Havoc to a sitting positing, "You ate my doughnut! Have you any of idea-" He would have kept on ranting, spewing out to Havoc and whom ever else that might have passed by his open office door the pains of his life and the mind numbingly insane torment of loosing his morning snack, but at that precarious moment, Riza Hawkeye with a stack of papers appeared in the doorway and he stopped.

At first, shocked and rather disturbed by the sight of her Colonel and Havoc on the floor. She raised an eyebrow. Both of their faces were flushed from activity, Mustang holding Havoc by the collar dangerously close to his face in what looks like an act closely resembling fornication. But she quickly dismissed that thought.

Riza stepped into the office, that same amused look still on her. She closed the door behind her was a small shake of her head and a roll of her eyes. She walked across the room, avoiding the Colonel and Havoc, with a loud thump placed the new stack of paperwork on the table.

She took one last look at the two bodies on the floor, gave a small, almost silent chuckle, "Men."


End file.
